As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
