When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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