good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
