its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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