i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
