we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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