Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
