She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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