Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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