I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We're facebook friends in real life
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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