i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
