I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i love accidental penises.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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