Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
farters have to be the big spoon...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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