so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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