I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
