I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
