scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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