I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dick very happy bro
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
