ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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