Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
