I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
