Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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