Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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