So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
