when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
