ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
