two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
