I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
