You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
