I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
