make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
