ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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