Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
