i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
