I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
