No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
