I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
