Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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