Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
