I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
