umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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