I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
