She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
