Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
