Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
