if i can run in heels then i can drive
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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