I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
