he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I want to fling myself into the sun
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
