If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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