My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just threw up on my dentist
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
