I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
